Yeah, hon.

New lows

I would rather see someone do a live reenactment of 2 girls 1 cup than have to watch them take a selfie of themselves “eating.” In fact, they’re not actually eating so much as holding still with food in their lips / a utensil with good on it approaching their face). In any event, it’s disgusting.

synecdoche:

apparently i’ve stopped drunk dialing cute boys but have started drunk emailing sallie mae. 

synecdoche:

apparently i’ve stopped drunk dialing cute boys but have started drunk emailing sallie mae. 

(via laughterkey)

6 days ago

digg:

Nick Offerman’s response to “Will you build your own casket?” is too perfect.

digg:

Nick Offerman’s response to “Will you build your own casket?” is too perfect.

(via laughterkey)

1 week ago

ruinedchildhood:

Mom: Home in 5 minutes, hope you’ve taken the chicken out of the freezer

Me: image

(via guccier)

buzzfeed:

itriedthatonceitwasabadmove:

austinabridged:

itriedthatonceitwasabadmove:

As a professional internet, it’s my job to search the web for quality, intellectually stimulating content. Like this.

The heavens parted, and delivered unto us a scion of hope, a glimmer of immortality. This song.

Its been a few hours since I posted this and I’m pretty sure I’ve gone back to listen to it about twelve times now and each time it still makes me almost develop a hernia from laughing so much.

The great mystery of our time: how is this so funny?

(via yeahhon)